Dog Blog: Henry's College Football Playoff Predictions
I asked my dog to predict the results of Friday's semifinal matchups between Alabama/Notre Dame and Ohio State/Clemson.
We all have pandemic hobbies. Instead of learning to bake bread, I fostered dogs.
From May to June, I had in my care a nursing mother dog and her eight (8) rambunctious puppies, who could walk and run and play about a full week earlier than puppies are supposed to in their development. At around 6 weeks old, one of them, a quiet, happy-go-lucky little guy, had the start of a cherry eye (a non-threatening inflammation of a dog’s third eyelid, usually remedied with minor surgery), and after talking with his sponsoring rescue, he and I went for a drive up to the vet, about 30 minutes away. It was the first time he’d ever been separated from his litter, which caused him great concern. Through the entire ride, I had one hand on the wheel, and one hand petting the crying, four-legged baby riding shotgun. It was stressful.
Naturally, I decided he was never leaving and that I would be his mom. Henry ended up being fine.
Before I get carried away like a food blogger that tells their life story before giving you a one-pot alfredo recipe, you’re here because I said that I asked my dog to make predictions on the College Football Playoff semifinals. Most likely, you may be wondering how I accomplished this, considering that Henry is a dog that cannot respond to questions in a human language.
Henry is a strong sniffer, so naturally, he made his playoff choices via a scent game. While he was in another room, I labeled the bottoms of some solo cups with the names of each team playing, and used them to cover four, equally-sized pieces of chicken breast on the ground.
Henry was then let into the kitchen, where he would find each “matchup.” Whichever cup he knocked over first in an effort to get chicken is the team he chose. I’ll be honest that I was a little concerned that this wasn’t going to work, but it did, and it was stupid cute. So without any further ado, Henry’s predictions:
(1) Alabama vs. (4) Notre Dame
If you have ever met me, read my tweets, felt my aura, breathed my air, etc., you will know that I have a lifelong disdain of Notre Dame football. My family haven’t been Michigan fans forever, but they have always hated Notre Dame; the story goes that there’s a distant cousin who used to brag about going there for college, when in truth he only transferred there for a year (note: while there is nothing wrong with transferring, or doing whatever you want with your education, he was apparently a dick about it). This has instilled in me the same, unwarranted, but passionate hatred of Notre Dame. All of this to say that when I let Henry into the kitchen to make his pick and he made a beeline for the Notre Dame cup and started sniffing around, I was a bit concerned.
Luckily, though, greater noses prevailed:
Henry, like most of the nation, has chosen Alabama to beat Notre Dame. I agree with this, and will take an opportunity to double down and say I’m giddy at the prospect of Notre Dame losing miserably on national television, again.
(2) Clemson vs. (3) Ohio State
You would expect that, as a Michigan fan and alum, I would also care that Henry chooses Clemson, as opposed to Ohio State; however, I’m such a downtrodden, defeated Michigan fan that the rivalry feels hollow these days. Michigan hasn’t beaten Ohio State since before I was a freshman in college in 2012. Where I feel strong disdain for the Fighting Irish, I feel nothing for the Buckeyes, and that’s all thanks to Michigan being so, so bad.
Of course, that doesn’t mean I wanted Henry to pick Ohio State or anything. I still remain unconvinced that they should be in the playoff (in fairness, I’m not convinced that any Big Ten team belongs there), and I’ll be pulling for Clemson. But this is about Henry’s take:
With a commanding swipe of the paw, Henry selected Ohio State to beat Clemson. Apparently, we’ll be a (dog)house divided tomorrow for the Sugar Bowl, then.
And there you have it. Henry’s definitive picks for the semifinal matches. Whether or not the teams I’m pulling for win or lose, it doesn’t matter: Henry’s the real winner because he ended up with four pieces of chicken.
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