Were there not enough takes on Twitter for you? For real?
Welcome to my newsletter; there's always time to not read it.
Hahaha wait, how did you get here?
Welcome to Trouble with the Snack, a newsletter/blog written for maybe ten people total, by me, Taylor, or, as most of you know me, @seltzermom on Twitter. I have no readership for anything, nor do I write professionally. In fact, I don’t actually get to write in any interesting capacity at work anymore. At my last job, at least I got to write shitty marketing emails for a living (to tell people to go to grad school, arguably one of the shittiest things to market). Not to say that I’m bitter or anything - there are much better writers at the place I work now - but it is to say that I miss getting paid to do words, or even doing words for free. So here I am, and here you’ve landed.
Are you sure this is where you wanted to go? Like, you didn’t type in the wrong url?
The #content you’ll find here will probably vary greatly, but, I think, can be broken down into a couple main themes, maybe 2-3 times a week:
Low Effort Sports Posts. If you’re looking for sharp, smart sports insights, these are not it. I will, however, provide you some of my unique insights into sports and the teams I love, including: why Josh Allen would win Bake Off, a CFP-style playoff selection model for fantasy football, a power ranking of my sports team sweatshirts, and why Michigan Football has chipped away at my will to live for the last time until I inevitably get sucked back in again but honestly maybe it won’t be so bad next year and whoa he has trouble with the snap—.
Breakfast Sandwich Breakdown. This is the “snack” part of Trouble with the Snack. I am famously a huge fan of breakfast sandwiches. There are classic egg-and-cheeses, variations on a breakfast theme, fancy-bordering-gentrified brunch sandwiches, drive-thru desperation sammies… I could go on; I argue that there’s a place for all of them in our society. And, yes, breakfast burritos are a variant on the breakfast sandwich. It’s just the data, folks. Call me the Nate Silver of breakfast sammies (but I’d like to think I’m a little cooler than he is).
Other Stuff. This is all free, but someday, I’d love to write more on the side; I mention this because, at the end of the day, I’m a begrudging pawn of capitalism — I’ll write whatever you want to read (and might someday pay me for). Send me a submission of a “live, laugh, love”-style sign that you’ve seen out in the wild, or an insane LinkedIn post, and I’ll give it a thorough review. Maybe I’ll provide the occasional hot take on something low-to-medium stakes. I dabble in reading tarot, and perhaps I’ll throw up a reading or two. You could even pay me to stop writing, and I’d do it gladly.
If you’ve inexplicably made it to the end of this post, it’s possible that you actually want to read my words, and for that I’m equal parts mystified and grateful. Please have a little patience with me as I try to get this off the ground.
Though I’d advise against it, you can tell your friends about the newsletter. I’d like to keep this free, but if my words are worth something to you and because I’m not above asking, my Venmo is @tay_fult.